I am happy right now, and I am writing this to share some happiness with you. I have to mention from the beginning that it’s not that type of happiness when the life is completely great, all the goals are already achieved, there are money, houses, yachts, Ferraris, or whatever. Don’t expect this. Just try to understand me. This typical (or not so typical?) Monday morning I am having that “here and now” feeling. A very good friend of mine defined this feeling as such almost a year (10 months) ago when we were speeding in my Grandpa’s car. It was hot, the windows were open, and when she, like a dog, ducked her face out of the window, allowing a fast wind to massage her tongue, as canidæ are believed to always do, she told me that that particular moment she understood something. What she told me was that during our life, we are always waiting for something good, pleasant, positive to happen.In the winter we dream of those pleasant warm days but when it’s hot we sweat, thinking more about the fun of ice skating She told me that when she ducked out of the window, and saw those beautiful fields, and the forest far away, and felt the wind, the spirit of Mother Nature, she told me that it was her “here and now”, which usually happened to her very rarely, about several times a year. I believed her; it is very likely that more than 99% of our lifetime we spend waiting for this “here and now”. Sometimes it happens spontaneously, like with me this beautiful morning; sometimes we can plan it, it can be a birthday party, or a wedding, where we experience so much eustress. The main rule of life, which is very obvious (to live), sadly, is rarely followed. As for me, for example, it’s not that I just sit down and do nothing: it’s probably even the opposite, I live life fully, I get particular things from it (like relatively good grades, which I recently can boast about), but the point is, I don’t experience. It is experience that is remembered for a lifetime and passed through generations. We all should experience how beautiful the life is, experience it fully and every day. A very easy secret for it, which is basically not a secret at all, is to stop for a minute and think. Let me spend the two hours, which are left until noon, when I publish this post, on explaining you what I mean.
I am sitting on the bench here in Boston Public Garden. A girl wearing jeans and a yellow t-shirt just passed me. I basically don’t like yellow, usually this color means nothing good. Melissa’s velvet bedding was snowy white, but I know that under the fire of crematorium it first turned yellow, and only then became a dust. Bad things happen in the room with yellow wallpaper, as well as yellow tulips are given as a sign of separation. But it wasn’t the t-shirt, it was the inscription on it. It read:”My best summer ever” I have to assume that I love such attitude. Although it’s May, it’s already summer (accomplish the weather, it’s just great!), and the summer is here, it is happening now, and it is here right now to enjoy, not somewhen else.
It started yesterday evening. I knew the deadline for essay submission was at midnight, but do you think I was starting to write it? Oh please don’t make me laugh. I was sitting at a cafeteria, thinking about it and doing nothing waiting for the last minute to come. It surely was on time and I surely was three or four hours late, and now I am not sure if I will be given credit for it. But the things are what they are: I procrastinated, then I waited, then I actually did and then it was already morning, which made no sense going home to get some sleep. It’s not that I couldn’t write five double spaced pages faster (I usually write two and a half, and then I make them double spaced, it is psychologically easier), I just didn’t feel so. When the clock on the tower stroke midnight, my magic energy which was called “An Attitude To Submit The Freaking Essay On Time” turned into a shapeless spirit (a fart?), so I couldn’t resist watching some episodes of some TV series on YouTube, researching something very interesting but not in any way related to the essay on the Internet, and of course drinking tea, it’s out of discussion. The essay itself, however, was on an interesting topic, so I finished it relatively fast, before the time the person behind online writing lab could potentially wake up in the morning (although there are some who get up before three), and as I said going home for a short nap made now sense, because it would get things much worse putting me to sleep until about noon, when I have to submit what are you reading now to you, my dear reader. Until five after five I finished researching that very interesting material, which I don’t even remember now what it was about, and watching those really very interesting episodes the concept of which is not coming from the top of my head as well. So after that, as I usually do in such situations, I went (more skateboarded then went) to Starbucks, deciding to which exactly Starbucks I am going while getting there. I remembered that there is a nice one which I haven’t been to for a while, and went directly there. The one was located at 441 Stuart street. It was there where the realization of here and now.
Now, I dare you to think about diamonds. A small priceless stones which have exactly the same component as the lead of a pencil with the difference only in the structure of atoms. In diamonds, atoms are structured in special patterns, while in pencil lead exactly the same material is laid in layers. It becomes funny when you consider a pencil worth millions. Yeah, right there, in the small pocket of your bag and a couple more in the left pocket of your pants. Now think of the following: there is an object in space that is a huge diamond. Not the lead of a pencil, but a pure diamond. It is much bigger than our small planet. How fast the priceless becomes worthless there?